Whatever you Speak – say what you have to say with Love.
Whatever you Hear – hear what is said with Love.
We do have the choice – the choice of interpreting
with Calmness, with Gentleness and even Love.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
How to SURVIVE the Holidays with Family
# 1. Get rid of the word ‘survive’ – it denotes being aggravated about something or someone even before you are with them face-to-face.
# 2. You are choosing to be with them whether you’ve invited them, or they’ve invited you.
Even if you feel it’s a ‘have to’ to be in their presence – you have chosen to do so.
Sometimes it’s a choice of two discomforts: be with them and be uncomfortable; don’t be with them and be uncomfortable.
Base your choice on this important hint: do the thing that YOU can be secretly proud of – there really is no right or wrong.
# 3. You have NO control of other people:
-- how they act
-- what they say
-- what they don’t say
-- how they say what they say
-- what kind of mood they are in
# 4. Tell yourself: I can’t control other people.
# 5. Repeat: I can’t control other people.
# 6. Repeat: I can’t control other people.
# 7. Repeat: I can’t control other people.
# 8. Repeat: I can’t control other people.
# 9. I can control other people as much as I can control the weather.
# 10. I can control other people as much as I can control traffic.
# 11. Think: Hmmmm, I really, really, can't control anyone else.
....... I can only control ME!
# 12. Ahhhh, now you’ve got it:
....... That's RIGHT - We can’t control other people!!
# 1. Get rid of the word ‘survive’ – it denotes being aggravated about something or someone even before you are with them face-to-face.
# 2. You are choosing to be with them whether you’ve invited them, or they’ve invited you.
Even if you feel it’s a ‘have to’ to be in their presence – you have chosen to do so.
Sometimes it’s a choice of two discomforts: be with them and be uncomfortable; don’t be with them and be uncomfortable.
Base your choice on this important hint: do the thing that YOU can be secretly proud of – there really is no right or wrong.
# 3. You have NO control of other people:
-- how they act
-- what they say
-- what they don’t say
-- how they say what they say
-- what kind of mood they are in
# 4. Tell yourself: I can’t control other people.
# 5. Repeat: I can’t control other people.
# 6. Repeat: I can’t control other people.
# 7. Repeat: I can’t control other people.
# 8. Repeat: I can’t control other people.
# 9. I can control other people as much as I can control the weather.
# 10. I can control other people as much as I can control traffic.
# 11. Think: Hmmmm, I really, really, can't control anyone else.
....... I can only control ME!
# 12. Ahhhh, now you’ve got it:
....... That's RIGHT - We can’t control other people!!
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Anyone who knows me, or who has read Peace of Body, Peace of Mind knows how much I promote, teach and preach ‘STOP and think about what you’re thinking’. Why? Because identifying and changing negative, insecure, harmful thoughts, and those that are simply ‘not true’ is an absolute MUST for feeling better.
Who doesn’t want to live a calmer, happier, less-stressed, BETTER life??
I was thirty-something when I learned the importance of my thoughts -- how I could change them and change my mood... How by changing my thoughts I could literally change how I felt physically and emotionally. I could change how I felt about me, about life, about everything.
Me: “Why didn’t somebody teach me this stuff when I was eight? I could have avoided a lot of heartache, a lot of internal suffering and confusion, and a lot of the stress-induced symptoms which plagued my body.
I had no clue you could consciously and deliberately change thoughts as simply as you change a pair of socks. So many years could have been sooooo much easier for me.”
This knowledge is NOT just important, it’s CRUCIAL. It’s FUNDAMENTAL. It’s ESSENTIAL to anyone who lives and breathes!! And the sooner everyone knows it – the better. The better for themselves, those they live with, and all those they interact with.
Well, I found something to teach the young ones to ‘change their thoughts’ and change how they’re feeling -- A wonderful book by Byron Katie, illustrated by Hans Wilhelm, entitled:
Tiger, Tiger is it True?
Subtitle: Four Questions to make you smile again.
This excellent story book will teach not only children, but the adults who are reading to them. Hmmmmm. Think about it. If Dad or Mom, Grandma or Grandpa or big sister or brother does the reading – they too get the powerful message. That certainly would cut down on the number of meltdowns, tears, tantrums, arguments and dramatics.
WOW - less frustration for everyone!!
Imagine that – harmony, cooperation, more peace in everyday life.
My very favorite lines from the book:
“So it’s not my parents or my friends who bug me.
It’s just my thinking about them that makes me mad.
WOW! That’s cool. That’s really cool.”
I strongly urge you to look into getting this ‘treasure’ for every family with younger children. The recommendation is ages 4-10. In my opinion, even the ones younger than 4 would benefit.
Think about it... You can contribute to more people
on the planet being At Ease & In Control!!
Link for more info: http://www.hayhouse.com/details.php?id=4473
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Thursday, May 26, 2011
I Wouldn’t…
.....Doesn’t Mean They Shouldn’t
Earlier today a good friend and I were talking and she mentioned not liking some of the more recent fashions. More than just not liking them, she was putting them down pretty strongly – basically saying they were wrong.
Her complaint began with women wearing high heels with jeans. Also in the list was boobs busting out all over, wearing a shorter sweater over a shirt or other top that was longer creating a layered look with tails hanging out. More disgusting fashion looks on her list were bra straps that show because the design of shirt is different, and short tops with butt-exposing low slung pants. That last one includes guys and gals.
I smiled and listened, and my only comment was: “fashions change”. Her reply then was: “Well, I’d never be caught wearing anything like that!”
The truth is, most of the things she mentioned I wouldn’t wear out in public either. But, it really doesn’t bother me when someone else dresses the way they choose to dress.
It’s not up to me to judge what looks good and what doesn’t -- what’s right and what’s wrong.
One reason: No one has appointed me a member of the Fashion Police.
Another reason: I know from past experience, judging everyone and everything isn’t beneficial to our health – physical or emotional health.
Judging is a habit. So maybe judging fashion looks is not that important, but I’ll bet you that with some people, this is only one thing they find ‘wrong’. The longer their list of topics, the more they think the world is world is bad and evilness is ‘everywhere’.
The next proclamation is: “What’s this world coming to?”
So how does all this relate to being At Ease & In Control?
Hmmmm – next time you find yourself thinking or talking about something you find unpleasant or disagreeable, check to see how you’re feeling.
Then, when you’re talking about something pleasant, enjoyable or amusing or humorous, check how you feel.
There’s a definite difference.
One makes you feel bad, the other makes you feel good.
One makes you feel uncomfortable, the other makes you feel comfortable and at ease.
It’s that simple.
The fact is:
When we look for what’s right in the world -- we find it.
When we look for what’s wrong out there -- we find it that too.
Guaranteed!
.....Doesn’t Mean They Shouldn’t
Earlier today a good friend and I were talking and she mentioned not liking some of the more recent fashions. More than just not liking them, she was putting them down pretty strongly – basically saying they were wrong.
Her complaint began with women wearing high heels with jeans. Also in the list was boobs busting out all over, wearing a shorter sweater over a shirt or other top that was longer creating a layered look with tails hanging out. More disgusting fashion looks on her list were bra straps that show because the design of shirt is different, and short tops with butt-exposing low slung pants. That last one includes guys and gals.
I smiled and listened, and my only comment was: “fashions change”. Her reply then was: “Well, I’d never be caught wearing anything like that!”
The truth is, most of the things she mentioned I wouldn’t wear out in public either. But, it really doesn’t bother me when someone else dresses the way they choose to dress.
It’s not up to me to judge what looks good and what doesn’t -- what’s right and what’s wrong.
One reason: No one has appointed me a member of the Fashion Police.
Another reason: I know from past experience, judging everyone and everything isn’t beneficial to our health – physical or emotional health.
Judging is a habit. So maybe judging fashion looks is not that important, but I’ll bet you that with some people, this is only one thing they find ‘wrong’. The longer their list of topics, the more they think the world is world is bad and evilness is ‘everywhere’.
The next proclamation is: “What’s this world coming to?”
So how does all this relate to being At Ease & In Control?
Hmmmm – next time you find yourself thinking or talking about something you find unpleasant or disagreeable, check to see how you’re feeling.
Then, when you’re talking about something pleasant, enjoyable or amusing or humorous, check how you feel.
There’s a definite difference.
One makes you feel bad, the other makes you feel good.
One makes you feel uncomfortable, the other makes you feel comfortable and at ease.
It’s that simple.
The fact is:
When we look for what’s right in the world -- we find it.
When we look for what’s wrong out there -- we find it that too.
Guaranteed!
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Living With Anxiety
.... Managing Your Anxiety
May is Mental Health month, so right now there are an abundance of articles ‘out there’ about anxiety, depression and other conditions.
Every time I see a headline such as one of those above, I want to scream from the rooftops:
“You don’t have to ‘live with anxiety’, you don’t have to ‘manage your anxiety’.
You CAN eliminate the anxious feelings – all of them. You can be rid of those strong sensations that are robbing you of the life you want to live! You CAN be free to do all the things you want to do. You CAN stop being led by fearful thoughts which are ruining your life.”
I am so very grateful for Dr. Abraham Low and his Recovery Method. When I came into the program the stated objective was to: “regain and maintain my mental health”. Regain and Maintain. The ultimate intent was to ‘get well’, to function, and function well ‘out there in the world’.
The purpose was not just to manage symptoms, manage the anxiety – the purpose was to get well and stay well.
The goal was not to ‘deal’ with the symptoms, the goal was to do away with them -- eventually forever.
The aim was to be cured! Yes, cured. Cured!!
Eliminate strong, debilitating symptoms all together.
That’s not just my opinion. It’s a proven fact!
In his biography, My Dear Ones, it's reported that Low told his clients over and over again:
“You will get well in Recovery”. “You will get well in Recovery”.
He was sure of it, and I am too.
Over the years I’ve witnessed and heard of too, too many successes to think otherwise.
Yes, there are those who put in a minimum of effort and get scant results. They are still symptom-led, fear-led, instead of self-led.
The fact is: If you know the material, and don’t use it (daily), when you don’t practice, you will not make any measurable or significant progress. You will continue living with some degree of symptoms. You will go on Living in Anxiety.
The fitness tools in the program are designed to reduce the intensity and duration of symptoms. That means by practicing the methods, by actually using what you learn, symptoms won’t be as strong and won’t last as long. Progress may seem slow from the beginning – but if you practice the methods -- they work, and they work very well. Over time, with conscious, consistent, persistent practice, the symptoms will go away completely.
Yes, completely.
As the word implies, ‘recovery’ means recover: to mend, to heal, to recuperate, to restore, to re-establish, to return to health. The word ‘recovery’ does not mean living with a condition, or tolerating it.
The opposite of Living With Anxiety is being At Ease and In Control --- being able to feel at ease in any situation and being in control of your thoughts and your Life.
You really CAN change ‘Living With Anxiety’ to ‘Living Without Anxiety ’.
.... Managing Your Anxiety
May is Mental Health month, so right now there are an abundance of articles ‘out there’ about anxiety, depression and other conditions.
Every time I see a headline such as one of those above, I want to scream from the rooftops:
“You don’t have to ‘live with anxiety’, you don’t have to ‘manage your anxiety’.
You CAN eliminate the anxious feelings – all of them. You can be rid of those strong sensations that are robbing you of the life you want to live! You CAN be free to do all the things you want to do. You CAN stop being led by fearful thoughts which are ruining your life.”
I am so very grateful for Dr. Abraham Low and his Recovery Method. When I came into the program the stated objective was to: “regain and maintain my mental health”. Regain and Maintain. The ultimate intent was to ‘get well’, to function, and function well ‘out there in the world’.
The purpose was not just to manage symptoms, manage the anxiety – the purpose was to get well and stay well.
The goal was not to ‘deal’ with the symptoms, the goal was to do away with them -- eventually forever.
The aim was to be cured! Yes, cured. Cured!!
Eliminate strong, debilitating symptoms all together.
That’s not just my opinion. It’s a proven fact!
In his biography, My Dear Ones, it's reported that Low told his clients over and over again:
“You will get well in Recovery”. “You will get well in Recovery”.
He was sure of it, and I am too.
Over the years I’ve witnessed and heard of too, too many successes to think otherwise.
Yes, there are those who put in a minimum of effort and get scant results. They are still symptom-led, fear-led, instead of self-led.
The fact is: If you know the material, and don’t use it (daily), when you don’t practice, you will not make any measurable or significant progress. You will continue living with some degree of symptoms. You will go on Living in Anxiety.
The fitness tools in the program are designed to reduce the intensity and duration of symptoms. That means by practicing the methods, by actually using what you learn, symptoms won’t be as strong and won’t last as long. Progress may seem slow from the beginning – but if you practice the methods -- they work, and they work very well. Over time, with conscious, consistent, persistent practice, the symptoms will go away completely.
Yes, completely.
As the word implies, ‘recovery’ means recover: to mend, to heal, to recuperate, to restore, to re-establish, to return to health. The word ‘recovery’ does not mean living with a condition, or tolerating it.
The opposite of Living With Anxiety is being At Ease and In Control --- being able to feel at ease in any situation and being in control of your thoughts and your Life.
You really CAN change ‘Living With Anxiety’ to ‘Living Without Anxiety ’.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Monday, April 11, 2011
If you don’t complain
........you don’t get anywhere
The Scenario: The customer behind me in line at the post office this morning commented on the long line, that it was always the same on Monday mornings, that they should have more clerks.
I purposely smiled and shrugged my shoulders, and didn’t say a word. He went on a bit more about ‘they’ have the money, they should do something about it, and made a few more statements.
Then he asked: “Doesn’t it bother you?” I replied, “No”. He went on about the injustice (his exact word). I went on being non-committal, then said something about how I rather enjoy standing still once in a while and relaxing, instead of ‘running’ at a fast pace all day.
I ended with another smile and quite spontaneously said: “I don’t like being crabby.” (not at all implying he was being that way--only that I don’t like being that way)
It’s true. I don’t like being cranky, crabby, tense or irritable. I like being happy and cheerful, and sharing those positive energies with others.
His response: “If you don’t complain, you don’t get anywhere”. His statement was spoken in a strong tone, signaling that he really meant and believed what he said. (then again, maybe not—that’s only my interpretation)
I smiled, because I knew that his complaining was not going to make the line go any faster. Then for something else to do, got busy with getting my debit card out of my purse.
There are times when discussing ‘how things are, and how they could be different’ can be productive. Complaining? Complaining is unproductive. Why? It does nothing, nothing but make people feel bad.
The complainer feels wronged or mistreated, speaks his discontent, gets more worked up and quite likely influences anyone listening to also think something is wrong, and they’re not being treated properly, and that things just aren’t fair!
Yes, I admit, there was a time in my life when I would have agreed with ‘things being wrong’—not only in that scenario, but in lots of others too. Judging situations, people, and events is a habit. That’s all, a habit.
BUT, it is a habit that affects us–negatively. Judging ‘wrong’ triggers tension, and the tension triggers bad feelings and bad moods.
I don’t play that game anymore. I refuse to. My mental health, my well-being, my inner peace is too, too important to me. Feeling good is important to me! You might call it my ultimate and only goal. I like enjoying life each and every day. I like feeling good. I like being cheerful.
Think about it: We only complain when we’re judging something is wrong.
When we judge (think) something is right, or OK, or we don’t really care--we are content or happy or at ease.
We have to remember:
We DO have control of how we feel, because we have control of our thoughts.
We get to choose our thoughts—therefore we get to choose our moods.
I have the power to make it happen in my life.
You have the power to make it happen in yours.
........you don’t get anywhere
The Scenario: The customer behind me in line at the post office this morning commented on the long line, that it was always the same on Monday mornings, that they should have more clerks.
I purposely smiled and shrugged my shoulders, and didn’t say a word. He went on a bit more about ‘they’ have the money, they should do something about it, and made a few more statements.
Then he asked: “Doesn’t it bother you?” I replied, “No”. He went on about the injustice (his exact word). I went on being non-committal, then said something about how I rather enjoy standing still once in a while and relaxing, instead of ‘running’ at a fast pace all day.
I ended with another smile and quite spontaneously said: “I don’t like being crabby.” (not at all implying he was being that way--only that I don’t like being that way)
It’s true. I don’t like being cranky, crabby, tense or irritable. I like being happy and cheerful, and sharing those positive energies with others.
His response: “If you don’t complain, you don’t get anywhere”. His statement was spoken in a strong tone, signaling that he really meant and believed what he said. (then again, maybe not—that’s only my interpretation)
I smiled, because I knew that his complaining was not going to make the line go any faster. Then for something else to do, got busy with getting my debit card out of my purse.
There are times when discussing ‘how things are, and how they could be different’ can be productive. Complaining? Complaining is unproductive. Why? It does nothing, nothing but make people feel bad.
The complainer feels wronged or mistreated, speaks his discontent, gets more worked up and quite likely influences anyone listening to also think something is wrong, and they’re not being treated properly, and that things just aren’t fair!
Yes, I admit, there was a time in my life when I would have agreed with ‘things being wrong’—not only in that scenario, but in lots of others too. Judging situations, people, and events is a habit. That’s all, a habit.
BUT, it is a habit that affects us–negatively. Judging ‘wrong’ triggers tension, and the tension triggers bad feelings and bad moods.
I don’t play that game anymore. I refuse to. My mental health, my well-being, my inner peace is too, too important to me. Feeling good is important to me! You might call it my ultimate and only goal. I like enjoying life each and every day. I like feeling good. I like being cheerful.
Think about it: We only complain when we’re judging something is wrong.
When we judge (think) something is right, or OK, or we don’t really care--we are content or happy or at ease.
We have to remember:
We DO have control of how we feel, because we have control of our thoughts.
We get to choose our thoughts—therefore we get to choose our moods.
I have the power to make it happen in my life.
You have the power to make it happen in yours.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Friday, March 25, 2011
It’s ME
This is a such a great statement:
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know it's me.
- Author Unknown
When we focus exclusively on changing ourselves, we release the desire and need to change and control – the people close to us who we love, and all those other people and things we ‘wish were different’.
The truth?
I cannot change anyone else. I may influence them sometimes, but they are going to think and behave as they want to think and behave.
My life is mine. Their life is theirs.
I take charge of my life and live At Ease & In Control.
This is a such a great statement:
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know it's me.
- Author Unknown
When we focus exclusively on changing ourselves, we release the desire and need to change and control – the people close to us who we love, and all those other people and things we ‘wish were different’.
The truth?
I cannot change anyone else. I may influence them sometimes, but they are going to think and behave as they want to think and behave.
My life is mine. Their life is theirs.
I take charge of my life and live At Ease & In Control.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Impulse Control –
................ “Then Don’t”
True story:
A friend of mine, we’ll call her Mary, recently had an event which really brought home the simplicity of: there are no uncontrollable impulses, only those we choose to not control.
The event: Mary was at the doctor’s office, and knew she was going to get an injection in her thumb joint. She’s had this type of procedure before and was anxious. Very anxious!
To say she ‘doesn’t like’ to get shots is an understatement. Even more than being scared of the pain & discomfort, she was afraid she would scream ---which she has done many times in the past. In her words: “I always scream when I get shots.”
When Mary saw the syringe in the doctor’s hand, she mentioned her anxiety and told him: “I don’t want to scream.” He replied: “Then don’t”. So she didn’t. It was that simple.
With those two words, “then don’t” Mary realized she could control the impulse. She DID indeed have a choice: to scream, or not scream. She COULD command and control her muscles, and she did.
She went against her old habit pattern, and this was an ‘old’ habit – many decades old.
Yes, she did choose to repeat/mumble something else to keep her mind busy – but she did not scream. The reason? Because she decided to not scream.
When she told me the story, Mary was soooo excited. Proud too. After all these years – she didn’t ‘give in’ to the strong urge to use her speech muscles to shriek, cause more discomfort to herself and the other people around her.
Every act of self-control produces a sense of self-respect – and this is a great example of just that!
................ “Then Don’t”
True story:
A friend of mine, we’ll call her Mary, recently had an event which really brought home the simplicity of: there are no uncontrollable impulses, only those we choose to not control.
The event: Mary was at the doctor’s office, and knew she was going to get an injection in her thumb joint. She’s had this type of procedure before and was anxious. Very anxious!
To say she ‘doesn’t like’ to get shots is an understatement. Even more than being scared of the pain & discomfort, she was afraid she would scream ---which she has done many times in the past. In her words: “I always scream when I get shots.”
When Mary saw the syringe in the doctor’s hand, she mentioned her anxiety and told him: “I don’t want to scream.” He replied: “Then don’t”. So she didn’t. It was that simple.
With those two words, “then don’t” Mary realized she could control the impulse. She DID indeed have a choice: to scream, or not scream. She COULD command and control her muscles, and she did.
She went against her old habit pattern, and this was an ‘old’ habit – many decades old.
Yes, she did choose to repeat/mumble something else to keep her mind busy – but she did not scream. The reason? Because she decided to not scream.
When she told me the story, Mary was soooo excited. Proud too. After all these years – she didn’t ‘give in’ to the strong urge to use her speech muscles to shriek, cause more discomfort to herself and the other people around her.
Every act of self-control produces a sense of self-respect – and this is a great example of just that!
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Improved Thinking = Improved Living
Words don’t teach.
Using the words during our life experiences is what really teaches.
Knowledge is just knowledge.
Skill is using the knowledge you know.
We can’t just ‘know’ the words, the phrases, we must use them.
Mental fitness tools are meant to be used – used when we’re feeling stressed, depressed, anxious, angry, upset, or out-of-sorts.
We can’t simply know them. We have to live them.
We have to practice, practice, practice them in daily life.
We have to apply them, live them until they become new habits of thought.
The REWARD:
More joy, more harmony, more love, more peace,
more contentment, more satisfaction,
more Living At Ease & In Control.
Words don’t teach.
Using the words during our life experiences is what really teaches.
Knowledge is just knowledge.
Skill is using the knowledge you know.
We can’t just ‘know’ the words, the phrases, we must use them.
Mental fitness tools are meant to be used – used when we’re feeling stressed, depressed, anxious, angry, upset, or out-of-sorts.
We can’t simply know them. We have to live them.
We have to practice, practice, practice them in daily life.
We have to apply them, live them until they become new habits of thought.
The REWARD:
More joy, more harmony, more love, more peace,
more contentment, more satisfaction,
more Living At Ease & In Control.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Mine is mine, and Yours is Yours
Our responses to ‘things’ are our own. Our very own.
Your responses are yours. My responses are mine.
Sorry, we can’t ‘give’ the blame away to anyone else.
We can’t ‘give’ the responsibility to anyone else.
It’s not: THAT gave me symptoms.
It’s: I worked it up, and gave myself symptoms.
It’s not: THAT something outside of me gave me symptoms.
It’s: I worked it up, all by myself, with my very own thoughts -- my very own angry or fearful thoughts
It’s not: ‘She’ got me upset.
It’s: ‘I’ got upset over something she said or did (or didn’t say, or didn’t do).
It’s not: ‘That traffic’ got me upset.
It’s: ‘I’ got myself upset when traffic was moving too slow.
Some people get initial/first responses to things or events that wouldn’t even phase someone else. It’s an internal thing. Each one of us owns our own.
It’s important, no–it’s really more than important--it’s ESSENTIAL to remember: Each of us is solely responsible for our own working-up-processes.
You can’t work me up.
You are not responsible for my response, and you are not responsible for my thoughts that come after my first response.
I can’t work you up.
I am not responsible for your response and I am not responsible for your thoughts that come after your initial response.
We OWN our own thoughts.
Reading something cannot work me up. My thoughts about what I’m reading are what work me up.
Having a nightmare cannot work you up – only your thoughts about the event (nightmare) work you up. The thought you have are after-the-fact, after the nightmare. These are the insecure thoughts that cause tension, upset & symptoms.
Think about it: the nightmare is over. It already happened. It is no longer happening. The nightmare event is finished. Now, it is only the repeated fearful thoughts about it that keep the scary, unsettling feelings alive.
Lingering fear temper, brings on lingering symptoms.
The longer we hold on to the bad, harmful, detrimental thoughts, the longer we’re going to feel upset and lousy, out of sorts, and maybe even miserable.
The opposite is true as well.
The sooner we practice changing/replacing those thoughts about ANY particular event, the sooner the ‘bad’ feeling(s) will lessen, then disappear.
I own my thoughts. You own yours.
I must be accountable to myself for mine.
You must be accountable to yourself for yours.
No one else thinks for me. No one else thinks for you.
That’s the way it works! NO exceptions.
Our responses to ‘things’ are our own. Our very own.
Your responses are yours. My responses are mine.
Sorry, we can’t ‘give’ the blame away to anyone else.
We can’t ‘give’ the responsibility to anyone else.
It’s not: THAT gave me symptoms.
It’s: I worked it up, and gave myself symptoms.
It’s not: THAT something outside of me gave me symptoms.
It’s: I worked it up, all by myself, with my very own thoughts -- my very own angry or fearful thoughts
It’s not: ‘She’ got me upset.
It’s: ‘I’ got upset over something she said or did (or didn’t say, or didn’t do).
It’s not: ‘That traffic’ got me upset.
It’s: ‘I’ got myself upset when traffic was moving too slow.
Some people get initial/first responses to things or events that wouldn’t even phase someone else. It’s an internal thing. Each one of us owns our own.
It’s important, no–it’s really more than important--it’s ESSENTIAL to remember: Each of us is solely responsible for our own working-up-processes.
You can’t work me up.
You are not responsible for my response, and you are not responsible for my thoughts that come after my first response.
I can’t work you up.
I am not responsible for your response and I am not responsible for your thoughts that come after your initial response.
We OWN our own thoughts.
Reading something cannot work me up. My thoughts about what I’m reading are what work me up.
Having a nightmare cannot work you up – only your thoughts about the event (nightmare) work you up. The thought you have are after-the-fact, after the nightmare. These are the insecure thoughts that cause tension, upset & symptoms.
Think about it: the nightmare is over. It already happened. It is no longer happening. The nightmare event is finished. Now, it is only the repeated fearful thoughts about it that keep the scary, unsettling feelings alive.
Lingering fear temper, brings on lingering symptoms.
The longer we hold on to the bad, harmful, detrimental thoughts, the longer we’re going to feel upset and lousy, out of sorts, and maybe even miserable.
The opposite is true as well.
The sooner we practice changing/replacing those thoughts about ANY particular event, the sooner the ‘bad’ feeling(s) will lessen, then disappear.
I own my thoughts. You own yours.
I must be accountable to myself for mine.
You must be accountable to yourself for yours.
No one else thinks for me. No one else thinks for you.
That’s the way it works! NO exceptions.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
We DO Have Control
We CAN control how we feel, because we CAN control our thoughts.
Think a fearful, insecure thought and you’ll feel ‘bad’.
Think a bunch of fearful, insecure thoughts and you’ll feel worse.
Think a secure thought, and feel better.
Think another secure thought, and feel better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel much better.
Think another secure thought, and feel much, much better.
Think another secure thought, and feel GOOD.
The small amount time and effort it takes to do this deliberate thought replacement is well worth it.
What’s your goal??
To feel At Ease & In Control??
We CAN control how we feel, because we CAN control our thoughts.
Think a fearful, insecure thought and you’ll feel ‘bad’.
Think a bunch of fearful, insecure thoughts and you’ll feel worse.
Think a secure thought, and feel better.
Think another secure thought, and feel better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel much better.
Think another secure thought, and feel much, much better.
Think another secure thought, and feel GOOD.
The small amount time and effort it takes to do this deliberate thought replacement is well worth it.
What’s your goal??
To feel At Ease & In Control??
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Friday, February 4, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Mark Kelly - Rep. Giffords' Husband Willing to Meet Suspect's Parents
That was a headline this week in the aftermath of the January 8, 2011 shooting in Tucson, Arizona; inside the article: "I don't think it's their fault. It's not the parents' fault," Mark Kelly told ABC's Diane Sawyer.
Mark Kelly is a wise man. So very many others are playing the blame game, pointing fingers in all different directions: mad at the suspect’s parents, angry about gun control & gun laws, aggravated about stores that sell ammunition, enraged about mental services and the health system, furious about people not ‘acting’ on the ‘signs’ of suspect’s instability, etc.
This is all too typical – with any high profile subject matter. And I believe the worst part of it is that so many other people get extremely worked-up about the issues. Temper breeds more temper. Need proof? Just go to any article on any online news site that allows comments, and read what people are saying/writing.
Widespread temper is being expressed. Every ‘they should have…’ translates into: They were wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! A lot of people are adding temper on top of temper – which is not good/healthy for them individually, or for us as a society
The following is an excerpt from President Obama’s speech at the Tucson memorial service on January 12th.
They are the most realistic, levelheaded remarks I’ve read about ‘who should we blame’:
“For the truth is none of us can know exactly what triggered this vicious attack. None of us can know with any certainty what might have stopped these shots from being fired, or what thoughts lurked in the inner recesses of a violent man’s mind. Yes, we have to examine all the facts behind this tragedy.
We cannot and will not be passive in the face of such violence. We should be willing to challenge old assumptions in order to lessen the prospects of such violence in the future. But what we cannot do is use this tragedy as one more occasion to turn on each other. That we cannot do. That we cannot do.”
We don’t know ‘with any certainty’. That’s the Truth. That’s a fact. We don’t know. And we truly cannot afford to make this into a hateful ‘me’ against ‘you’ or ‘us’ against ‘them’ battle.
People can discuss, even disagree. Laws and procedures may change as a result. In the long run, what some people would label as ‘good’ may come out of this tragedy.
So who do I think is responsible for what happened?
Who is to blame? The person who aimed, and pulled the trigger.
I truly believe that angry thoughts on top of angry thoughts, on top of angry thoughts, on top of angry thoughts, on top of angry thoughts, on top of angry thoughts, on top of angry thoughts – a prolonged vicious cycle of angry thoughts -- causes people to eventually do terrible things.
The flip side of that is consciously recognizing temper responses, changing your thoughts, and living At Ease & In Control.
That was a headline this week in the aftermath of the January 8, 2011 shooting in Tucson, Arizona; inside the article: "I don't think it's their fault. It's not the parents' fault," Mark Kelly told ABC's Diane Sawyer.
Mark Kelly is a wise man. So very many others are playing the blame game, pointing fingers in all different directions: mad at the suspect’s parents, angry about gun control & gun laws, aggravated about stores that sell ammunition, enraged about mental services and the health system, furious about people not ‘acting’ on the ‘signs’ of suspect’s instability, etc.
This is all too typical – with any high profile subject matter. And I believe the worst part of it is that so many other people get extremely worked-up about the issues. Temper breeds more temper. Need proof? Just go to any article on any online news site that allows comments, and read what people are saying/writing.
Widespread temper is being expressed. Every ‘they should have…’ translates into: They were wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! A lot of people are adding temper on top of temper – which is not good/healthy for them individually, or for us as a society
The following is an excerpt from President Obama’s speech at the Tucson memorial service on January 12th.
They are the most realistic, levelheaded remarks I’ve read about ‘who should we blame’:
“For the truth is none of us can know exactly what triggered this vicious attack. None of us can know with any certainty what might have stopped these shots from being fired, or what thoughts lurked in the inner recesses of a violent man’s mind. Yes, we have to examine all the facts behind this tragedy.
We cannot and will not be passive in the face of such violence. We should be willing to challenge old assumptions in order to lessen the prospects of such violence in the future. But what we cannot do is use this tragedy as one more occasion to turn on each other. That we cannot do. That we cannot do.”
We don’t know ‘with any certainty’. That’s the Truth. That’s a fact. We don’t know. And we truly cannot afford to make this into a hateful ‘me’ against ‘you’ or ‘us’ against ‘them’ battle.
People can discuss, even disagree. Laws and procedures may change as a result. In the long run, what some people would label as ‘good’ may come out of this tragedy.
So who do I think is responsible for what happened?
Who is to blame? The person who aimed, and pulled the trigger.
I truly believe that angry thoughts on top of angry thoughts, on top of angry thoughts, on top of angry thoughts, on top of angry thoughts, on top of angry thoughts, on top of angry thoughts – a prolonged vicious cycle of angry thoughts -- causes people to eventually do terrible things.
The flip side of that is consciously recognizing temper responses, changing your thoughts, and living At Ease & In Control.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Sometimes Shoulds are Good
What? Sometimes having the thought “I should ____ IS good.
Why? Because it motivate us to do the thing we fear, or care not to do! A before-the-action ‘should’ helps us take the ceiling off the amount of discomfort we are willing to bear.
We don’t raise the ceiling. We remove the ceiling.
For me it was the only authentic way of getting rid of my anxiety symptoms for good. The associated thoughts go something like this: “I don’t care how uncomfortable I am. I don’t care how uncomfortable I may get. I AM going to do this.”
Please do note: taking the limit off how much discomfort you are willing to handle/experience is not a one-time effort/decision. Anyone who has conquered anxiety has practiced. Repeatedly. They’ve gone out there time after time after time, not only knowing the ‘right’ thoughts, but also using those healthy, accurate, right thoughts.
Think about it: Before you do something, you really have no idea beforehand how uncomfortable you may get while you’re doing it.
Fact: Nervous symptoms grow and escalate when we attach fear and danger thoughts to them (when we think insecure thoughts).
Those same symptoms rise and fall and run their natural course when we use the secure/realistic/factual thoughts: “These are anxiety symptoms. Only anxiety. They are upsetting, distressing, difficult, disturbing, nerve-wracking, BUT they are not dangerous.”
Being group-minded, when we think of others instead of ourselves and how bad we feel, often prompts us to take action – action that we’d really rather not have to do.
It’s times when it’s easier to decide (think): “I’ll just stay home” or “I just won’t make the call” or “I’ll handle that tomorrow”.
Times when the internal dialog/thoughts go something like this: I’m not feeling all that good. We DO groceries. I don’t feel like going to the store. In fact, I’m having a lot of physical sensations just thinking about driving over there. I wonder how crowded it will be? I could ask my daughter to go, or to come with me, but she’s had a cold, and had another long day at work. I can tell she’s tired. I really should go on my own, so I will go by myself.
That SHOULD is a good should.
The “I don’t feel like going” is a thought; so is the “I will go myself”. The “I will go myself” is a thought, plus it’s a decision.
Think about it: When you have the self-leadership to go against the “I don’t want to” – you gain more self-respect. In a very real sense you’re standing up to your nervous fatigue, your wooziness, your light-headedness, and all other kinds of anxious feelings and you’re saying: “No! No! No! You can’t scare me anymore”.
Speaking in general, of the entire population of the planet:
If we all waited until we felt like doing something –
not a lot would get done in this world.
Granted, some people appear to love all the facets of their lives. It looks like they’re happy and spontaneous doing all they’re doing. And maybe they really are. The greater majority of individuals put forth effort to get things done day after day after day.
So, it IS average to have to push yourself into action -- sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. In that respect, You’re definitely not alone.
What? Sometimes having the thought “I should ____ IS good.
Why? Because it motivate us to do the thing we fear, or care not to do! A before-the-action ‘should’ helps us take the ceiling off the amount of discomfort we are willing to bear.
We don’t raise the ceiling. We remove the ceiling.
For me it was the only authentic way of getting rid of my anxiety symptoms for good. The associated thoughts go something like this: “I don’t care how uncomfortable I am. I don’t care how uncomfortable I may get. I AM going to do this.”
Please do note: taking the limit off how much discomfort you are willing to handle/experience is not a one-time effort/decision. Anyone who has conquered anxiety has practiced. Repeatedly. They’ve gone out there time after time after time, not only knowing the ‘right’ thoughts, but also using those healthy, accurate, right thoughts.
Think about it: Before you do something, you really have no idea beforehand how uncomfortable you may get while you’re doing it.
Fact: Nervous symptoms grow and escalate when we attach fear and danger thoughts to them (when we think insecure thoughts).
Those same symptoms rise and fall and run their natural course when we use the secure/realistic/factual thoughts: “These are anxiety symptoms. Only anxiety. They are upsetting, distressing, difficult, disturbing, nerve-wracking, BUT they are not dangerous.”
Being group-minded, when we think of others instead of ourselves and how bad we feel, often prompts us to take action – action that we’d really rather not have to do.
It’s times when it’s easier to decide (think): “I’ll just stay home” or “I just won’t make the call” or “I’ll handle that tomorrow”.
Times when the internal dialog/thoughts go something like this: I’m not feeling all that good. We DO groceries. I don’t feel like going to the store. In fact, I’m having a lot of physical sensations just thinking about driving over there. I wonder how crowded it will be? I could ask my daughter to go, or to come with me, but she’s had a cold, and had another long day at work. I can tell she’s tired. I really should go on my own, so I will go by myself.
That SHOULD is a good should.
The “I don’t feel like going” is a thought; so is the “I will go myself”. The “I will go myself” is a thought, plus it’s a decision.
Think about it: When you have the self-leadership to go against the “I don’t want to” – you gain more self-respect. In a very real sense you’re standing up to your nervous fatigue, your wooziness, your light-headedness, and all other kinds of anxious feelings and you’re saying: “No! No! No! You can’t scare me anymore”.
Speaking in general, of the entire population of the planet:
If we all waited until we felt like doing something –
not a lot would get done in this world.
Granted, some people appear to love all the facets of their lives. It looks like they’re happy and spontaneous doing all they’re doing. And maybe they really are. The greater majority of individuals put forth effort to get things done day after day after day.
So, it IS average to have to push yourself into action -- sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. In that respect, You’re definitely not alone.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Monday, January 17, 2011
If you’re not riled up right now…
……… let me help you get that way
Last week I received one of those pass-along-emails, another one with an angry overtone. The title: NEVER FORGIVE A TRAITOR (yes, in all caps). It contained information about Jane Fonda and an incident which happened more than 40 years ago.
Here are the first two sentences of the note: "For those of you too young to remember Hanoi Jane is a bad person and did some terrible things during the Vietnam war. Things that can not be forgiven!!!!!!”
Dredging up temper – the judgement of ‘someone is wrong’ and passing it along to dozens and dozens of people is, in my mind, not being group-minded, not being group-minded at all.
It’s not healthy for the sender. Think about it: that person is riled up enough to pass it along. And most probably it’s not all that good for the receiver either – if the receiver is going to get upset about it.
Sender’s motive?? This makes me angry, I hope it makes you angry too. I hope you’re on my side about this one.
Who knows? Perhaps it’s a simple: I think you ought to know about this.
My thoughts: Remember, temper -- the judgement that someone or something is wrong – causes tension, and tension causes symptoms. The event could be current, or from long ago – but the response is now – the thoughts are in the present.
Actually, sometimes recalling a past injustice can be good – but only if the person thinking about it decides to once-and-for-all, to finally drop the judgment. We drop the judgment, we neutralize the temper, not for the other person’s sake – but for our own.
Reminder: It’s not people, places, things, events, or emails that give us our upset, our symptoms. It is our response to those things which makes us cranky, crabby, out-of-sorts, tense, depressed, etc.
If, and that’s a big IF, if you can read words that label someone wrong, Wrong, WRONG and remain neutral or indifferent -- good for you. But the vast majority of people would, and do have negative responses. They get mad, even worse – they stay mad.
Now, what would you rather be known as: Someone who provokes anger/bad feelings, or someone who consciously chooses to be an uplifter -- someone who spreads joy and goodwill
The choice is ours – Always!
My Rule: If what I just read doesn’t feel good to me, there’s no way I’m going to pass it along.
My hope, my desire, is to have someone feel good or better after they’ve interacted with me – whether it’s through email, by phone or in-person.
I choose to be uplifting, not depressing! How about you?
Spread joy, not misery.
……… let me help you get that way
Last week I received one of those pass-along-emails, another one with an angry overtone. The title: NEVER FORGIVE A TRAITOR (yes, in all caps). It contained information about Jane Fonda and an incident which happened more than 40 years ago.
Here are the first two sentences of the note: "For those of you too young to remember Hanoi Jane is a bad person and did some terrible things during the Vietnam war. Things that can not be forgiven!!!!!!”
Dredging up temper – the judgement of ‘someone is wrong’ and passing it along to dozens and dozens of people is, in my mind, not being group-minded, not being group-minded at all.
It’s not healthy for the sender. Think about it: that person is riled up enough to pass it along. And most probably it’s not all that good for the receiver either – if the receiver is going to get upset about it.
Sender’s motive?? This makes me angry, I hope it makes you angry too. I hope you’re on my side about this one.
Who knows? Perhaps it’s a simple: I think you ought to know about this.
My thoughts: Remember, temper -- the judgement that someone or something is wrong – causes tension, and tension causes symptoms. The event could be current, or from long ago – but the response is now – the thoughts are in the present.
Actually, sometimes recalling a past injustice can be good – but only if the person thinking about it decides to once-and-for-all, to finally drop the judgment. We drop the judgment, we neutralize the temper, not for the other person’s sake – but for our own.
Reminder: It’s not people, places, things, events, or emails that give us our upset, our symptoms. It is our response to those things which makes us cranky, crabby, out-of-sorts, tense, depressed, etc.
If, and that’s a big IF, if you can read words that label someone wrong, Wrong, WRONG and remain neutral or indifferent -- good for you. But the vast majority of people would, and do have negative responses. They get mad, even worse – they stay mad.
Now, what would you rather be known as: Someone who provokes anger/bad feelings, or someone who consciously chooses to be an uplifter -- someone who spreads joy and goodwill
The choice is ours – Always!
My Rule: If what I just read doesn’t feel good to me, there’s no way I’m going to pass it along.
My hope, my desire, is to have someone feel good or better after they’ve interacted with me – whether it’s through email, by phone or in-person.
I choose to be uplifting, not depressing! How about you?
Spread joy, not misery.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Monday, January 10, 2011
5000 Birds fall from the sky
........... Millions of spot fish die!!!
Lots of sensationalism and fear-filled press about the birds in Arkansas and Kentucky, and the fish in Chesapeake Bay: the earth’s magnetic field is weakening; the end of the world is coming in 2012 and this is a sign; sonic booms are the cause; UFO’s could be responsible.
It’s wide-scale death, so it MUST mean something horrible!
How refreshing to read a realistic explanation:
In Arkansas, “5,000 birds falling dead in people's yards is just weird”, said Kevin McGowan, an ornithologist at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology. "But the question is, has this happened before?"
The answer is yes, “but probably in a cornfield. And foxes ate them all”, McGowan said.”
So what Mr. McGowan is saying is: the recent bird and fish events are not spooky or scary, they are average – nothing to get alarmed, concerned, or worked-up about. These kinds of things happen in nature all the time.
These events may be distressing and upsetting, but they are not dangerous in the sense that something of catastrophic proportions is about to happen in our world!
From the mental health angle… for some people it’s easy to become suggestible to the stories out there that spell doom and gloom. And there are plenty of them! They stir up fear and/or anger -- fearful and/or angry thoughts -- and it’s always fear and anger thoughts which cause symptoms.
The solution: Watch what you read. If you find yourself uncomfortable, physically or mentally, switch to more realistic, rational, reasonable, secure thoughts.
Reminder: it may not be the first thing you read that will affect you, but I guarantee, a steady diet of pessimism and fear will influence your mood and your health.
If you’re interested in the entire article in the Washington Post online
by Darryl Fear (yes, Fear is his real name - I did not make that up)
here’s the link:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/07/AR2011010703065.html?sid=ST2011010703261
........... Millions of spot fish die!!!
Lots of sensationalism and fear-filled press about the birds in Arkansas and Kentucky, and the fish in Chesapeake Bay: the earth’s magnetic field is weakening; the end of the world is coming in 2012 and this is a sign; sonic booms are the cause; UFO’s could be responsible.
It’s wide-scale death, so it MUST mean something horrible!
How refreshing to read a realistic explanation:
In Arkansas, “5,000 birds falling dead in people's yards is just weird”, said Kevin McGowan, an ornithologist at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology. "But the question is, has this happened before?"
The answer is yes, “but probably in a cornfield. And foxes ate them all”, McGowan said.”
So what Mr. McGowan is saying is: the recent bird and fish events are not spooky or scary, they are average – nothing to get alarmed, concerned, or worked-up about. These kinds of things happen in nature all the time.
These events may be distressing and upsetting, but they are not dangerous in the sense that something of catastrophic proportions is about to happen in our world!
From the mental health angle… for some people it’s easy to become suggestible to the stories out there that spell doom and gloom. And there are plenty of them! They stir up fear and/or anger -- fearful and/or angry thoughts -- and it’s always fear and anger thoughts which cause symptoms.
The solution: Watch what you read. If you find yourself uncomfortable, physically or mentally, switch to more realistic, rational, reasonable, secure thoughts.
Reminder: it may not be the first thing you read that will affect you, but I guarantee, a steady diet of pessimism and fear will influence your mood and your health.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
If you’re interested in the entire article in the Washington Post online
by Darryl Fear (yes, Fear is his real name - I did not make that up)
here’s the link:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/07/AR2011010703065.html?sid=ST2011010703261
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Help for Your New Year's Resolutions
1. Command your muscles.
2. Change your thoughts.
If you want to lose weight:
1. Command your muscles to stop and not even pick up that candy bar (or whatever other food you know you shouldn’t be eating on your weight reduction regime).
2. Change your thoughts: When you have the urge/impulse to eat something that you know would not be the best for you – remind yourself: There are NO uncontrollable impulses. None.
You and you alone have the power, the ability to say NO to the impulse. To your impulse.
You may even want to use this exact statement: “NO, I am not going to give in to this impulse. I’m in control here!
Which brings up statements such as: I’ve got such a craving for a piece of chocolate (or a cookie, sugar, or whatever). In this case, the craving is a desire, a want. We could even label that craving as simply an impulse. True, the craving may technically come before the impulse - but for me that’s getting too scientific.
Think about it: What you’re calling a craving could simply be a strong or lingering impulse (to eat or drink whatever). A ‘craving’ sounds more serious, more intense, more uncontrollable – when in reality it is not! NOT!
Another think about it: calling it a craving may be simply an excuse to give in. And when we ‘give in’ we cave in, when with a little extra effort it could be a victory over the impulse, rather than a defeat – a self-defeat.
Whether it’s an urge, an impulse, or a craving –
....................... ALL of them are wants, NOT needs.
Your Goal: You want to get out of bed a half-hour earlier in the morning to increase your get-ready time so you’re not feeling totally rushed.
1. Command your muscles to move and get out of bed as soon as the alarm rings.
2. Change your thoughts: I made a firm decision to get up earlier and I’m sticking to that decision.
Your Goal: To take control of your temper outbursts.
1. Change your thoughts: whatever is causing your irritation, temper, anger, upset, frustration, aggravation – make it – label it a triviality compared to your sense of well-being, compared to your inner peace, compared to your mental health. Actually use the words: “This is a triviality”. Get into the habit.
The more you cancel out or nullify the temper thoughts, the less likely you are to say something you wish you hadn’t said.
2. Command your muscles… If you’re already past that point and have worked something up in your mind (via your thoughts), and the words are ‘right at the tip of your tongue’ -- Command your mouth muscles to be still. Do not open your mouth! Command your lip muscles to stay together. Be silent. A closed mouth cannot spew angry or hurt-filled words.
No matter what the area or topic of your resolution is – you can command your muscles to stop or go, to be still or move.
Sounds simple, and it really can be easy to. With practice everything becomes easier.
Your New Year’s Resolution is your PROMISE to yourself.
Treat it that way.
1. Command your muscles.
2. Change your thoughts.
If you want to lose weight:
1. Command your muscles to stop and not even pick up that candy bar (or whatever other food you know you shouldn’t be eating on your weight reduction regime).
2. Change your thoughts: When you have the urge/impulse to eat something that you know would not be the best for you – remind yourself: There are NO uncontrollable impulses. None.
You and you alone have the power, the ability to say NO to the impulse. To your impulse.
You may even want to use this exact statement: “NO, I am not going to give in to this impulse. I’m in control here!
Which brings up statements such as: I’ve got such a craving for a piece of chocolate (or a cookie, sugar, or whatever). In this case, the craving is a desire, a want. We could even label that craving as simply an impulse. True, the craving may technically come before the impulse - but for me that’s getting too scientific.
Think about it: What you’re calling a craving could simply be a strong or lingering impulse (to eat or drink whatever). A ‘craving’ sounds more serious, more intense, more uncontrollable – when in reality it is not! NOT!
Another think about it: calling it a craving may be simply an excuse to give in. And when we ‘give in’ we cave in, when with a little extra effort it could be a victory over the impulse, rather than a defeat – a self-defeat.
Whether it’s an urge, an impulse, or a craving –
....................... ALL of them are wants, NOT needs.
Your Goal: You want to get out of bed a half-hour earlier in the morning to increase your get-ready time so you’re not feeling totally rushed.
1. Command your muscles to move and get out of bed as soon as the alarm rings.
2. Change your thoughts: I made a firm decision to get up earlier and I’m sticking to that decision.
Your Goal: To take control of your temper outbursts.
1. Change your thoughts: whatever is causing your irritation, temper, anger, upset, frustration, aggravation – make it – label it a triviality compared to your sense of well-being, compared to your inner peace, compared to your mental health. Actually use the words: “This is a triviality”. Get into the habit.
The more you cancel out or nullify the temper thoughts, the less likely you are to say something you wish you hadn’t said.
2. Command your muscles… If you’re already past that point and have worked something up in your mind (via your thoughts), and the words are ‘right at the tip of your tongue’ -- Command your mouth muscles to be still. Do not open your mouth! Command your lip muscles to stay together. Be silent. A closed mouth cannot spew angry or hurt-filled words.
No matter what the area or topic of your resolution is – you can command your muscles to stop or go, to be still or move.
Sounds simple, and it really can be easy to. With practice everything becomes easier.
Your New Year’s Resolution is your PROMISE to yourself.
Treat it that way.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
Monday, January 3, 2011
Someone said it…
……….Does that really make it so???
Two examples:
“The Alzheimer's Association expects 10 million Baby Boomers to develop the disease.”
“A report by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in Atlanta has revealed that one in three children born in the US in the year 2000 will go on to develop type II diabetes at some point in their lives. The author and his colleagues estimate that the number of US citizens with type II diabetes will exceed 28 million within the next 50 years.”
These statements are projections.
They are forecasts (fear-filled forecasts).
They are assumptions. They are ideas. Nothing more.
These are guesses. And, a guess is not fact.
A guess is nothing to have fearful thoughts about. A guess is nothing to be anxious or worry about, or to lose sleep over.
Most important: A guess is nothing to work yourself up about.
Yes, we do become suggestible to unsettling ideas when we read or hear them. That’s an average original response.
An excellent way to work it down and drop that first response is to filter the information coming to us with one simple question: Is it really true?
Another way to stay At Ease & In Control
Happy 2011.
……….Does that really make it so???
Two examples:
“The Alzheimer's Association expects 10 million Baby Boomers to develop the disease.”
“A report by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in Atlanta has revealed that one in three children born in the US in the year 2000 will go on to develop type II diabetes at some point in their lives. The author and his colleagues estimate that the number of US citizens with type II diabetes will exceed 28 million within the next 50 years.”
These statements are projections.
They are forecasts (fear-filled forecasts).
They are assumptions. They are ideas. Nothing more.
These are guesses. And, a guess is not fact.
A guess is nothing to have fearful thoughts about. A guess is nothing to be anxious or worry about, or to lose sleep over.
Most important: A guess is nothing to work yourself up about.
Yes, we do become suggestible to unsettling ideas when we read or hear them. That’s an average original response.
An excellent way to work it down and drop that first response is to filter the information coming to us with one simple question: Is it really true?
Another way to stay At Ease & In Control
Happy 2011.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
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