THE Voice

More than one cognitive modality for anxiety & panic suggests the technique of giving racing thoughts a name – “The Voice”.
The idea is to One: help you recognize the thoughts that you’re having; Two: to assist in reducing the fear.
If you use this technique, and it does indeed help reduce or stop insecure thoughts – that’s wonderful. Do continue using that method.

If you’ve been calling the thoughts – “The Voice” and it’s not been helpful, or it’s lost it’s positive effect, maybe it’s time to let go of “The Voice” – time to let go of calling it "The Voice".

It very well could be that labeling thoughts as “The Voice” you’ve inadvertently given it some power, some authority – when in fact the thoughts are harmless. Thoughts are distressing, not dangerous – unless we attach danger to them. It’s our interpretation, the interpretation of threat and danger that makes them feel scary, and makes us feel scared. And that fear (thought) causes tension, and the tension increases the intensity and duration of symptoms.

A Secure & Realistic interpretation makes thoughts benign – harmless. And we are the ones who, after we have a thought, label and categorize it as either good or bad. It’s just a thought – it has no Power, no Control.

“The Voice” is not another entity – it’s not ‘something’ trying to ‘get you’. “The Voice” is thoughts. Thoughts. That’s all, just thoughts. Simply thoughts. Insignificant thoughts with NO Power, NO Control.


Sample
The thought comes: “I’m going to be nervous and end up miserable when I have that medical test next week.”

Your comeback, your response, to that thought could be: “I don’t know how I’ll feel. And I don’t have to believe what the thought is telling me.
Realistically, the test is not going to be a picnic. There’s going to be some discomfort – and whatever that discomfort is – I can handle it. My basic functions will carry me through."


The Power and Control are resident within us. We get to choose to use our power to accept, reject or change our thoughts – and that’s often one thought at a time.

© 2010 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Snow Fatigue

I noticed that term in a headline a few days ago.

As soon as I read the words Snow Fatigue I thought Snow Temper.
Temper at the snow. Temper at so much snow. Temper at being inconvenienced by the snow. Temper at whoever for not clearing the snow off the roads. Temper at ‘having’ to go to work in the snow or else using up personal time. Temper at ‘the store’ for not having any de-icer/salt to put on the sidewalks or driveway. Temper at having to shovel the driveway, the sidewalk or move the mound of snow that the snow plow created around your car parked in the street. Temper at the schools being closed. Temper at the people and businesses who didn’t shovel their sidewalks. Temper at having to stay inside.

The other day I had an email from a friend who lives in one of the places where it snowed a LOT in the past week. Here’s part of it:
“How are things? Here, they are cold and snowy, but I can change my thoughts about it and that is AWESOME!!
You should hear all the moans and groans from everyone at work, kind of funny really.”


Now this is a person who takes his mental health seriously. I know him well enough to confirm that fact. Has he had his share of hassles? You bet he has. Yes, the weather-related irritations and frustrations came. Plenty of annoying ‘things’ happened, including being without power for two days and having to find a place for his family to stay. And ALL those ‘things’ he encountered were “trivialities compared to his mental health”. He knows that, and that’s the way he handled them.

Did he feel stressed at times? I’m sure he did. Did he get “stressed out”? Nope – he practiced his mental fitness tools – consistently and persistently. He had “average original responses” and chose to work them down, instead of working them up.

The remark about his co-workers? My friend observed what was going on – with no judgement. Because like many of us – ‘before' he would have also gotten into all ‘drama’ of what was going on in the Outer Environment.

He kept things in perspective with realistic/secure thoughts.

He stayed away from ‘talking it up and working it up’.
The outcome? He was (and is): At Ease & In Control.

© 2010 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Non-Attachment

“The” computer has had a few viruses and other problems in the last two weeks. Somewhere during that time the idea came to me to start calling it – THE computer, instead of MY computer.
That one word change assisted me in putting it even farther out into OE – Outer Environment. Waaaayyyy out there in OE.
A form of non-attachment? Detachment? Separation? I think so.
For me it was. It loosened my tie to the difficulty.

Try it, and take note of how your feelings change.
Instead of: MY car has a problem, THE car has a problem.
Instead of: MY water heater has a problem, THE water heater has a problem.
Instead of: The heating element in MY clothes dryer isn’t working, The heating element in THE clothes dryer isn’t working.

It makes a difference. A little thing? Yes.
But another tool to keep At Ease & In Control.

© 2010 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Are you TRYING?

I love this quote:
Do, or do not. There is no 'try'.
……………. Jedi Master Yoda

Simple. Direct. To the point!!

There is NO TRY. Either we’re doing, or not doing.
There is NOTHING in between.

If we’re doing – we’re putting forth effort.
If we’re putting forth effort (and each of us knows when we TRULY are and are not) then hand-in-hand with that, it’s time for some silent or not-so-silent self-praise.

If we’re doing and haven’t yet accomplished a ‘final goal’ – where or what we want to be – we keep doing and keep applauding ourselves.

If we’re not doing – we need be honest, straightforward, mature and truthful enough to admit that to ourselves.
Then we choose. Either we are going to do, or continue not doing.

There is no TRY!
When we toss out ‘trying’, it makes us accountable – to ourselves.
It’s uncomfortable to face that we haven’t been giving something our best effort, or even a good-average effort. That discomfort can be a plus – driving us, motivating us, to take or increase our self-responsibility. It can stimulate us into practicing, more consistently. Not time and again.
But again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

There is no TRY!
Trying is one of those nebulous, vague terms – no way to measure or grade it. And trying has a somewhat negative connotation – as in: “I am doing BUT not succeeding.”

When we toss out ‘trying’, it really is refreshing to see that we really ‘are’ and ‘have been’ doing. It brings a realistic viewpoint front and center. We can celebrate: Wheeeeee!! “I’m not just trying, I Am DOING.” That IS reason to cheer and be glad!!
And proud too!!

© 2010 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Sabotage

Sabotage is knowing “what” to do and choosing not to do it.

Let’s say your health care professional told you to regulate your sleep habits, get into a set pattern – meaning go to bed about the same time every night and not only wake up, but get out of bed, around the same time each morning. You tried it for a while and it worked. Now you’re not following that suggestion/direction, and once again you’re having trouble getting out of bed in the morning.

When we recognize our sabotaging action (or inaction) we have really have two choices:
1. Make a Firm Decision to do what it is you know IS good for your mind and body
2. Blame (and continue to blame) yourself for being inconsistent in practicing what’s good for you (sabotaging) and wallow in those thoughts.

You can probably figure out that making a Firm Decision ‘to do’ is healthier of those two choices. A firm decision is not “I’ll TRY”. A FIRM decision is: “I WILL do _____.”

Sabotage is lack of self-leadership. Self-leadership is doing what you say you’re going to do. How do you “do” what you say you’re going to do? By moving your muscles.

No excuses! No, “I don’t feel like it – because I’ve got a whole list of things to do today, and most of them I don’t want to do.” No excuses. Move the muscles. And those precious muscles will help re-educate your brain.

Mind and Body, Thoughts and Muscles – they’re a TEAM.

© 2010 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Find Yourself Being More Forgetful???
.......... especially now that you're Older??


The truth is everyone forgot things & information when they were 11, 23, and 36 years old – they simply don’t remember. Now it’s a big deal. “Somebody” has made it a big deal – and I won’t point fingers, because whoever ‘they’ are – they’re not wrong they’re average.

Good news alert: The once long-held alarming view that 40% of brain cells are ‘lost’ has been reversed. Hurray! That’s one more fear thought, which seriously terrified millions of folks, we can promptly toss away. Now scientists confirm that our brains continue to develop through and beyond middle age. And what’s ‘middle-age’? That too is a matter of opinion. It’s been altered/ adjusted. Now they’re saying the span is from 40 years of age into the late 60’s.

Can’t remember what you had for breakfast yesterday? So what! It’s a triviality compared to your mental health. Yah, and here come those But’s: but remembering is part of my mental health; but I last week I couldn’t remember what the boss asked me to do; but yesterday I bought some fish at the market and can’t find it, etc.

A couple of months ago my sister and I were talking about our Father’s funeral, and she mentioned something I had no recollection of – no recollection whatsoever. Does that mean I’m going to worry, be mindful of all the times I forget, start keeping track of them, and start diagnosing? NO. NO. NO. Absolutely NOT.

By the way: Using labels such as ‘absent-minded’ and ‘scatterbrained’ are a form of attaching danger and diagnosing. Those are insecure thoughts.

Sorry – I refuse to attach danger to forgetting a name, a date, a specific word, something someone else remembers about an occasion, a very close friend’s birthday several years in a row, or anything else. Period. Exclamation point!

My rationale:
1. It’s AVERAGE to forget.
2. I’ve got a lot more information tucked in my brain today than I had when I was 35. That thought is realistic, and because it’s realistic, a fact, it’s also a secure thought.
Another fact: secure thoughts cancel out insecure thoughts. Always.

I guarantee you: the more you worry about forgetting, the more forgetful you’ll notice yourself becoming. Why? Because your mind is occupied/busy with fear thoughts, and what you’re trying to remember can’t come through.

____
And now I’m laughing… while writing this piece I took a break to check email. Received one from a friend I had dinner with in mid December. He was away, traveling over the holidays. Here’s part of his note: “I think I told you at our dinner that I would try to get some info for you. Not only did I fail to do so, I forgot what I was to obtain. Can you remind me?”

And here’s the humorous part of my side of it: I don’t remember, so I can’t remind him. The best I can come up with is that it ‘might’ be about a spiritual book he was reading or had heard about. But, I’m ‘not sure’ of that either. Maybe something will ‘ring-a-bell’ and maybe I will remember. And if I don’t, that’s OK too. TOTALLY OK.

My Supreme Goal is MY mental health, which to me means being
At Ease & In Control. Right now.

© 2010 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Purpose in Life

What’s your Purpose in Life? A lot is said on the topic – about ‘finding’ your purpose, ‘having’ a purpose, how important it is.

In his infinite wisdom, Dr. Low - creator of the Recovery International Method - spelled that out for us. “… when you are ill your main and all-absorbing purpose must be the will to get well. All other purposes, no matter how inspiring and exalted, must be subordinated to the one leading and supreme purpose of getting well an keeping well.”

“Getting well and keeping well.” If symptoms dominate your life – the supreme purpose is ‘getting well’. For those of us who have regained our mental health – our supreme purpose is maintaining our health – ‘keeping well’.

Note the term Supreme Purpose. That’s more than a goal. It carries more weight than an intention. It’s the Ultimate Aim – the Fundamental Objective. Perhaps we can call it the Core or Central Objective. It’s the Highest. It’s Number ONE!

Yes, being a parent, a good average parent, is important. So is making a living. So is being a good spouse, sibling, daughter, son, friend, neighbor, boss or co-worker, solid citizen. But the fact is – no matter what intentions we have when it comes to family, work or spirituality – without good mental health, we can’t be successful. It’s impossible.

We don’t and won’t find fulfillment in life when we’re filled with anger or fear. It’s not possible. Take away the fear, take away the anger consistently (which translates to: putting your mental health FIRST – your sense of Inner Peace FIRST) and the rest of life will flow – much, much more easily.

Putting Mental Health FIRST has fringe benefits – which spill over into EVERY area of life. Want to be move loving? Put your mental health/inner peace first. Want more creative self-expression? Make mental health/inner peace your ultimate goal. Want better relationships? Work on your mental health/inner peace first. Want to feel better? Be happier? Be more content? Serve God, your fellow man? Get/have more meaning to your Life? Feel more spiritual? Deepen your connection with the Divine of your understanding? Feel good about yourself? Have more self-confidence? Self-Love?

ALL those goals, plus more - ARE achievable when we’re calm and clear-minded. And what’s another term for being calm and clear minded? Good mental health. They ARE one and the same.

On this first day of a New Year – I invite you to consider, seriously consider, your Supreme Purpose.


Peace and Blessings to YOU for this New Year,
Rose

© 2010 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved