........you don’t get anywhere
The Scenario: The customer behind me in line at the post office this morning commented on the long line, that it was always the same on Monday mornings, that they should have more clerks.
I purposely smiled and shrugged my shoulders, and didn’t say a word. He went on a bit more about ‘they’ have the money, they should do something about it, and made a few more statements.
Then he asked: “Doesn’t it bother you?” I replied, “No”. He went on about the injustice (his exact word). I went on being non-committal, then said something about how I rather enjoy standing still once in a while and relaxing, instead of ‘running’ at a fast pace all day.
I ended with another smile and quite spontaneously said: “I don’t like being crabby.” (not at all implying he was being that way--only that I don’t like being that way)
It’s true. I don’t like being cranky, crabby, tense or irritable. I like being happy and cheerful, and sharing those positive energies with others.
His response: “If you don’t complain, you don’t get anywhere”. His statement was spoken in a strong tone, signaling that he really meant and believed what he said. (then again, maybe not—that’s only my interpretation)
I smiled, because I knew that his complaining was not going to make the line go any faster. Then for something else to do, got busy with getting my debit card out of my purse.
There are times when discussing ‘how things are, and how they could be different’ can be productive. Complaining? Complaining is unproductive. Why? It does nothing, nothing but make people feel bad.
The complainer feels wronged or mistreated, speaks his discontent, gets more worked up and quite likely influences anyone listening to also think something is wrong, and they’re not being treated properly, and that things just aren’t fair!
Yes, I admit, there was a time in my life when I would have agreed with ‘things being wrong’—not only in that scenario, but in lots of others too. Judging situations, people, and events is a habit. That’s all, a habit.
BUT, it is a habit that affects us–negatively. Judging ‘wrong’ triggers tension, and the tension triggers bad feelings and bad moods.
I don’t play that game anymore. I refuse to. My mental health, my well-being, my inner peace is too, too important to me. Feeling good is important to me! You might call it my ultimate and only goal. I like enjoying life each and every day. I like feeling good. I like being cheerful.
Think about it: We only complain when we’re judging something is wrong.
When we judge (think) something is right, or OK, or we don’t really care--we are content or happy or at ease.
We have to remember:
We DO have control of how we feel, because we have control of our thoughts.
We get to choose our thoughts—therefore we get to choose our moods.
I have the power to make it happen in my life.
You have the power to make it happen in yours.
© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved