How to Keep Your New Year Resolutions


A New Year Resolution is all about wanting something to be different.
It moves from being a wish, a want, a desire or a hope by resolving and deciding, choosing, making up your mind – or we could say by ‘making a firm decision’.


Ahhh, but that’s not the last firm decision that has to be made.


If you ‘resolve’ to eat ‘healthier’ for whatever reason,
a firm decision is required each and every time you choose to eat (that does include snacking).


If you ‘resolve’ to be nicer/more pleasant to a friend, co-worker or family member,
a firm decision is required each and every time you communicate with that person – whether it’s face-to-face, on the phone or through some form of electronic messaging.


If you ‘resolve’ that you’re not going be so stressed out at work,
a firm decision is required each and every time something happens that upsets you.


If you ‘resolve’ to do, or do more of something: learn a foreign language, play and instrument, walk, read, exercise, meditate, whatever --
a firm decision is required each and every time it’s time to learn, study, practice or do.


Those Firm Decisions ‘steady’ us. From what? The bouncing back and forth of our thoughts.
     Eating better: I want to eat this --- but I know ‘the other’ this is better for me.
     Being nicer: I want to totally blow off answering that comment my Mother texted me --- but I will answer her in a calm, rational way.
     Less stressed at work: I really want to tell Mr. X, the boss at work that the new idea that management decided on stinks, it’s crazy, and I’m not going along with what everyone in the department has to do --- but I know that’s not the best or wisest action for me to take.
     Doing more of a ‘good thing’: I know I should, part of me wants to because I said I would --- but I don’t feel like it.


Each firm decision frees up your energy to ‘do’ – to do whatever you determine the right thing is for you to do!

© 2012 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Speak  &  Hear


Whatever you Speak – say what you have to say with Love.
Whatever you Hear – hear what is said with Love.


We do have the choice – the choice of interpreting
with Calmness, with Gentleness and even Love.

© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

How to SURVIVE the Holidays with Family



# 1. Get rid of the word ‘survive’ – it denotes being aggravated about something or someone even before you are with them face-to-face.

# 2. You are choosing to be with them whether you’ve invited them, or they’ve invited you.
Even if you feel it’s a ‘have to’ to be in their presence – you have chosen to do so.
Sometimes it’s a choice of two discomforts: be with them and be uncomfortable; don’t be with them and be uncomfortable.
Base your choice on this important hint: do the thing that YOU can be secretly proud of – there really is no right or wrong.

# 3. You have NO control of other people:
-- how they act
-- what they say
-- what they don’t say
-- how they say what they say
-- what kind of mood they are in

# 4. Tell yourself: I can’t control other people.

# 5. Repeat: I can’t control other people.

# 6. Repeat: I can’t control other people.

# 7. Repeat: I can’t control other people.

# 8. Repeat: I can’t control other people.

# 9. I can control other people as much as I can control the weather.

# 10. I can control other people as much as I can control traffic.

# 11. Think: Hmmmm, I really, really, can't control anyone else.
 ....... I can only control ME!

# 12. Ahhhh, now you’ve got it:
....... That's RIGHT - We can’t control other people!!

© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

A Resource for Our Children

Anyone who knows me, or who has read Peace of Body, Peace of Mind knows how much I promote, teach and preach ‘STOP and think about what you’re thinking’. Why? Because identifying and changing negative, insecure, harmful thoughts, and those that are simply ‘not true’ is an absolute MUST for feeling better.


Who doesn’t want to live a calmer, happier, less-stressed, BETTER life??


I was thirty-something when I learned the importance of my thoughts -- how I could change them and change my mood... How by changing my thoughts I could literally change how I felt physically and emotionally. I could change how I felt about me, about life, about everything.


Me: “Why didn’t somebody teach me this stuff when I was eight? I could have avoided a lot of heartache, a lot of internal suffering and confusion, and a lot of the stress-induced symptoms which plagued my body.
I had no clue you could consciously and deliberately change thoughts as simply as you change a pair of socks. So many years could have been sooooo much easier for me.”


This knowledge is NOT just important, it’s CRUCIAL. It’s FUNDAMENTAL. It’s ESSENTIAL to anyone who lives and breathes!! And the sooner everyone knows it – the better. The better for themselves, those they live with, and all those they interact with.


Well, I found something to teach the young ones to ‘change their thoughts’ and change how they’re feeling -- A wonderful book by Byron Katie, illustrated by Hans Wilhelm, entitled:
Tiger, Tiger is it True?
Subtitle: Four Questions to make you smile again.


This excellent story book will teach not only children, but the adults who are reading to them. Hmmmmm. Think about it. If Dad or Mom, Grandma or Grandpa or big sister or brother does the reading – they too get the powerful message. That certainly would cut down on the number of meltdowns, tears, tantrums, arguments and dramatics.
WOW - less frustration for everyone!!
Imagine that – harmony, cooperation, more peace in everyday life.


My very favorite lines from the book:
“So it’s not my parents or my friends who bug me.
It’s just my thinking about them that makes me mad.
WOW! That’s cool. That’s really cool.”


I strongly urge you to look into getting this ‘treasure’ for every family with younger children. The recommendation is ages 4-10. In my opinion, even the ones younger than 4 would benefit.


Think about it... You can contribute to more people
on the planet being At Ease & In Control!!



Link for more info:  http://www.hayhouse.com/details.php?id=4473

© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

I Wouldn’t…
.....Doesn’t Mean They Shouldn’t


Earlier today a good friend and I were talking and she mentioned not liking some of the more recent fashions. More than just not liking them, she was putting them down pretty strongly – basically saying they were wrong.


Her complaint began with women wearing high heels with jeans. Also in the list was boobs busting out all over, wearing a shorter sweater over a shirt or other top that was longer creating a layered look with tails hanging out. More disgusting fashion looks on her list were bra straps that show because the design of shirt is different, and short tops with butt-exposing low slung pants. That last one includes guys and gals.


I smiled and listened, and my only comment was: “fashions change”. Her reply then was: “Well, I’d never be caught wearing anything like that!”


The truth is, most of the things she mentioned I wouldn’t wear out in public either. But, it really doesn’t bother me when someone else dresses the way they choose to dress.
It’s not up to me to judge what looks good and what doesn’t -- what’s right and what’s wrong.
One reason: No one has appointed me a member of the Fashion Police.
Another reason: I know from past experience, judging everyone and everything isn’t beneficial to our health – physical or emotional health.


Judging is a habit. So maybe judging fashion looks is not that important, but I’ll bet you that with some people, this is only one thing they find ‘wrong’. The longer their list of topics, the more they think the world is world is bad and evilness is ‘everywhere’.
The next proclamation is: “What’s this world coming to?”


So how does all this relate to being At Ease & In Control?
Hmmmm – next time you find yourself thinking or talking about something you find unpleasant or disagreeable, check to see how you’re feeling.
Then, when you’re talking about something pleasant, enjoyable or amusing or humorous, check how you feel.

There’s a definite difference.
One makes you feel bad, the other makes you feel good.
One makes you feel uncomfortable, the other makes you feel comfortable and at ease.
It’s that simple.

The fact is:
When we look for what’s right in the world -- we find it.
When we look for what’s wrong out there -- we find it that too.
Guaranteed!

© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Living With Anxiety
.... Managing Your Anxiety


May is Mental Health month, so right now there are an abundance of articles ‘out there’ about anxiety, depression and other conditions.


Every time I see a headline such as one of those above, I want to scream from the rooftops:
“You don’t have to ‘live with anxiety’, you don’t have to ‘manage your anxiety’.

You CAN eliminate the anxious feelings – all of them. You can be rid of those strong sensations that are robbing you of the life you want to live! You CAN be free to do all the things you want to do. You CAN stop being led by fearful thoughts which are ruining your life.”


I am so very grateful for Dr. Abraham Low and his Recovery Method. When I came into the program the stated objective was to: “regain and maintain my mental health”. Regain and Maintain. The ultimate intent was to ‘get well’, to function, and function well ‘out there in the world’.


The purpose was not just to manage symptoms, manage the anxiety – the purpose was to get well and stay well.

The goal was not to ‘deal’ with the symptoms, the goal was to do away with them -- eventually forever.

The aim was to be cured! Yes, cured. Cured!!
Eliminate strong, debilitating symptoms all together.
That’s not just my opinion. It’s a proven fact!


In his biography, My Dear Ones, it's reported that Low told his clients over and over again:
“You will get well in Recovery”. “You will get well in Recovery”.
He was sure of it, and I am too.
Over the years I’ve witnessed and heard of too, too many successes to think otherwise.

Yes, there are those who put in a minimum of effort and get scant results. They are still symptom-led, fear-led, instead of self-led.
The fact is: If you know the material, and don’t use it (daily), when you don’t practice, you will not make any measurable or significant progress. You will continue living with some degree of symptoms. You will go on Living in Anxiety.


The fitness tools in the program are designed to reduce the intensity and duration of symptoms. That means by practicing the methods, by actually using what you learn, symptoms won’t be as strong and won’t last as long. Progress may seem slow from the beginning – but if you practice the methods -- they work, and they work very well. Over time, with conscious, consistent, persistent practice, the symptoms will go away completely.
Yes, completely.


As the word implies, ‘recovery’ means recover: to mend, to heal, to recuperate, to restore, to re-establish, to return to health. The word ‘recovery’ does not mean living with a condition, or tolerating it.


The opposite of Living With Anxiety is being At Ease and In Control --- being able to feel at ease in any situation and being in control of your thoughts and your Life.


You really CAN change ‘Living With Anxiety’ to ‘Living Without Anxiety ’.

© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

If you don’t complain
........you don’t get anywhere




The Scenario: The customer behind me in line at the post office this morning commented on the long line, that it was always the same on Monday mornings, that they should have more clerks.

I purposely smiled and shrugged my shoulders, and didn’t say a word. He went on a bit more about ‘they’ have the money, they should do something about it, and made a few more statements.

Then he asked: “Doesn’t it bother you?” I replied, “No”. He went on about the injustice (his exact word). I went on being non-committal, then said something about how I rather enjoy standing still once in a while and relaxing, instead of ‘running’ at a fast pace all day.

I ended with another smile and quite spontaneously said: “I don’t like being crabby.” (not at all implying he was being that way--only that I don’t like being that way)
It’s true. I don’t like being cranky, crabby, tense or irritable. I like being happy and cheerful, and sharing those positive energies with others.


His response: “If you don’t complain, you don’t get anywhere”. His statement was spoken in a strong tone, signaling that he really meant and believed what he said. (then again, maybe not—that’s only my interpretation)
I smiled, because I knew that his complaining was not going to make the line go any faster. Then for something else to do, got busy with getting my debit card out of my purse.


There are times when discussing ‘how things are, and how they could be different’ can be productive. Complaining? Complaining is unproductive. Why? It does nothing, nothing but make people feel bad.
The complainer feels wronged or mistreated, speaks his discontent, gets more worked up and quite likely influences anyone listening to also think something is wrong, and they’re not being treated properly, and that things just aren’t fair!


Yes, I admit, there was a time in my life when I would have agreed with ‘things being wrong’—not only in that scenario, but in lots of others too. Judging situations, people, and events is a habit. That’s all, a habit.
BUT, it is a habit that affects us–negatively. Judging ‘wrong’ triggers tension, and the tension triggers bad feelings and bad moods.


I don’t play that game anymore. I refuse to. My mental health, my well-being, my inner peace is too, too important to me. Feeling good is important to me! You might call it my ultimate and only goal. I like enjoying life each and every day. I like feeling good. I like being cheerful.


Think about it: We only complain when we’re judging something is wrong.
When we judge (think) something is right, or OK, or we don’t really care--we are content or happy or at ease.


We have to remember:
We DO have control of how we feel, because we have control of our thoughts.
We get to choose our thoughts—therefore we get to choose our moods.


I have the power to make it happen in my life.
You have the power to make it happen in yours.

© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved