It’s ME

This is a such a great statement:

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know it's me.
- Author Unknown

When we focus exclusively on changing ourselves, we release the desire and need to change and control – the people close to us who we love, and all those other people and things we ‘wish were different’.

The truth?
I cannot change anyone else. I may influence them sometimes, but they are going to think and behave as they want to think and behave.

My life is mine. Their life is theirs.
I take charge of my life and live At Ease & In Control.

© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Impulse Control –
................ “Then Don’t”

True story:
A friend of mine, we’ll call her Mary, recently had an event which really brought home the simplicity of: there are no uncontrollable impulses, only those we choose to not control.

The event: Mary was at the doctor’s office, and knew she was going to get an injection in her thumb joint. She’s had this type of procedure before and was anxious. Very anxious!

To say she ‘doesn’t like’ to get shots is an understatement. Even more than being scared of the pain & discomfort, she was afraid she would scream ---which she has done many times in the past. In her words: “I always scream when I get shots.”

When Mary saw the syringe in the doctor’s hand, she mentioned her anxiety and told him: “I don’t want to scream.” He replied: “Then don’t”. So she didn’t. It was that simple.

With those two words, “then don’t” Mary realized she could control the impulse. She DID indeed have a choice: to scream, or not scream. She COULD command and control her muscles, and she did.

She went against her old habit pattern, and this was an ‘old’ habit – many decades old.

Yes, she did choose to repeat/mumble something else to keep her mind busy – but she did not scream. The reason? Because she decided to not scream.

When she told me the story, Mary was soooo excited. Proud too. After all these years – she didn’t ‘give in’ to the strong urge to use her speech muscles to shriek, cause more discomfort to herself and the other people around her.

Every act of self-control produces a sense of self-respect – and this is a great example of just that!

© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Improved Thinking = Improved Living


Words don’t teach.
Using the words during our life experiences is what really teaches.

Knowledge is just knowledge.
Skill is using the knowledge you know.

We can’t just ‘know’ the words, the phrases, we must use them.

Mental fitness tools are meant to be used – used when we’re feeling stressed, depressed, anxious, angry, upset, or out-of-sorts.

We can’t simply know them. We have to live them.
We have to practice, practice, practice them in daily life.

We have to apply them, live them until they become new habits of thought.

The REWARD:
More joy, more harmony, more love, more peace,
more contentment, more satisfaction,
more Living At Ease & In Control.

© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Mine is mine, and Yours is Yours


Our responses to ‘things’ are our own. Our very own.
Your responses are yours. My responses are mine.

Sorry, we can’t ‘give’ the blame away to anyone else.
We can’t ‘give’ the responsibility to anyone else.

It’s not: THAT gave me symptoms.
It’s: I worked it up, and gave myself symptoms.
It’s not: THAT something outside of me gave me symptoms.
It’s: I worked it up, all by myself, with my very own thoughts -- my very own angry or fearful thoughts

It’s not: ‘She’ got me upset.
It’s: ‘I’ got upset over something she said or did (or didn’t say, or didn’t do).
It’s not: ‘That traffic’ got me upset.
It’s: ‘I’ got myself upset when traffic was moving too slow.

Some people get initial/first responses to things or events that wouldn’t even phase someone else. It’s an internal thing. Each one of us owns our own.

It’s important, no–it’s really more than important--it’s ESSENTIAL to remember: Each of us is solely responsible for our own working-up-processes.

You can’t work me up.
You are not responsible for my response, and you are not responsible for my thoughts that come after my first response.
I can’t work you up.
I am not responsible for your response and I am not responsible for your thoughts that come after your initial response.

We OWN our own thoughts.

Reading something cannot work me up. My thoughts about what I’m reading are what work me up.
Having a nightmare cannot work you up – only your thoughts about the event (nightmare) work you up. The thought you have are after-the-fact, after the nightmare. These are the insecure thoughts that cause tension, upset & symptoms.
Think about it: the nightmare is over. It already happened. It is no longer happening. The nightmare event is finished. Now, it is only the repeated fearful thoughts about it that keep the scary, unsettling feelings alive.

Lingering fear temper, brings on lingering symptoms.
The longer we hold on to the bad, harmful, detrimental thoughts, the longer we’re going to feel upset and lousy, out of sorts, and maybe even miserable.

The opposite is true as well.
The sooner we practice changing/replacing those thoughts about ANY particular event, the sooner the ‘bad’ feeling(s) will lessen, then disappear.

I own my thoughts. You own yours.
I must be accountable to myself for mine.
You must be accountable to yourself for yours.

No one else thinks for me. No one else thinks for you.
That’s the way it works! NO exceptions.

© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

We DO Have Control


We CAN control how we feel, because we CAN control our thoughts.

Think a fearful, insecure thought and you’ll feel ‘bad’.
Think a bunch of fearful, insecure thoughts and you’ll feel worse.

Think a secure thought, and feel better.
Think another secure thought, and feel better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.

Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.
Think another secure thought, and feel a bit better.

Think another secure thought, and feel much better.
Think another secure thought, and feel much, much better.
Think another secure thought, and feel GOOD.

The small amount time and effort it takes to do this deliberate thought replacement is well worth it.

What’s your goal??
To feel At Ease & In Control??

© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved