Monday, December 21, 2009

It’s OK to Second-Guess

It’s OK to second-guess? I can hear the (shock) thoughts churning now: “Whaddya mean it’s OK to second guess? Every ‘expert’ tells us not to.

Well, let’s think about it realistically. You make a decision, and after it’s made, you review your decision. That could be considered second-guessing. That action could be called wise.

It’s not second-guessing that gets us in trouble. It’s 35th second-guess, the 74th, the 209th second-guess that keep us stressed. Or maybe we could call it Continuous Second Guessing which stresses us out, makes us cranky and crabby, and often down, disgruntled and depressed. All those extra guesses stem from one type of thought: “Did I make a mistake?” Maybe not in those exact words. The insecure thoughts could take the form of: “I should have…” or “I shouldn’t have…”

Second guessing is not something that happens outside of us. It involves thoughts – our own thoughts. Granted, someone may say something, or something may happen that triggers the fear (yes, it IS fear). There may even be a whole series of circumstances, yet – WE are the ones who keep the cycles going.
How? With our thoughts. Ahhh, and sometimes with our actions too. How so? By asking. Repeated asking. Asking your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, you best friend, someone you respect, and even someone you may not think too much of – if they agree or if they disagree with what you did (or didn’t do). In this case it’s muscular action + thoughts that keep the worked-up, worked up.

It’s talking it up = working it up in one of it’s finest form.
Where are you when you ask 12 people for their opinion, and 5 five are on ‘your side’ and the other 7 express some doubt or concern? Where are you? Still worked up. Even when you have a solid majority – maybe out of the 12 you come up with 8 yeas and 4 nays – it’s still possible to remain worry mode.

A solution?
a. Stop and think about what you’re thinking.
b. Watch your words. What you speak is what you’re thinking.
c. Excuse yourself. The decision you made ‘was’ – that’s the past – the past is outer environment.
c. Know that whatever decision you’ve made, there are still other choices you have access to.

The fact is: All of Life IS a series of choices and decisions.
And one of those choices is:
Will I be at ease & in control, or worked-up?

© 2009 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved