Why do people Lie?
Typically I don’t get into “Why” people do what they do. And, since three people in the last two weeks have asked me about it, I’ve decided to address the topic here.
My plain and simple answer is: People tell lies because to them, it’s more comfortable than telling the truth.
No matter what the subject, or who else is involved – the person who tells a lie chooses to – simply because it makes them feel better. They believe, they think, telling the truth would make them feel uncomfortable, more uncomfortable, too uncomfortable – and they choose to avoid being that uncomfortable.
Usually I stop the explanation right there, and since I’m writing now, I’ll add a few more thoughts…
I believe lying has the same effect on a person as a temper outburst, what is often referred to as a symbolic victory. That’s when we express our anger in a quick-tempered, maybe even loud and volatile way. That type of behavior may make us feel good ‘in the moment’, maybe even for a longer time.
BUT, sooner or later, we realize the ‘victory’ was no real victory at all – because we’re embarrassed or ashamed of our behavior – the words and more importantly, the manner those words flew out of our mouth.
Typically I don’t get into “Why” people do what they do. And, since three people in the last two weeks have asked me about it, I’ve decided to address the topic here.
My plain and simple answer is: People tell lies because to them, it’s more comfortable than telling the truth.
No matter what the subject, or who else is involved – the person who tells a lie chooses to – simply because it makes them feel better. They believe, they think, telling the truth would make them feel uncomfortable, more uncomfortable, too uncomfortable – and they choose to avoid being that uncomfortable.
Usually I stop the explanation right there, and since I’m writing now, I’ll add a few more thoughts…
I believe lying has the same effect on a person as a temper outburst, what is often referred to as a symbolic victory. That’s when we express our anger in a quick-tempered, maybe even loud and volatile way. That type of behavior may make us feel good ‘in the moment’, maybe even for a longer time.
BUT, sooner or later, we realize the ‘victory’ was no real victory at all – because we’re embarrassed or ashamed of our behavior – the words and more importantly, the manner those words flew out of our mouth.
That shame, composed of “I was wrong” thoughts, starts up another vicious cycle of thoughts – thoughts of self-blame and self-degradation, which produce more discomfort – physical and mental.
So is anything good or healthy really accomplished by a temper outburst?
To me, when a person tells a lie, they are not self-led. They are symptom led - led and influenced by fear, their own fear thoughts. And I believe that telling the lie may make a person feel better ‘in the moment’ but somewhere in the future, they’re going to know, realize, and wake up to the fact, that their behavior wasn’t their best – and they’re going to feel bad about it - embarrassed or ashamed or guilty.
So is anything good or healthy really accomplished by a temper outburst?
To me, when a person tells a lie, they are not self-led. They are symptom led - led and influenced by fear, their own fear thoughts. And I believe that telling the lie may make a person feel better ‘in the moment’ but somewhere in the future, they’re going to know, realize, and wake up to the fact, that their behavior wasn’t their best – and they’re going to feel bad about it - embarrassed or ashamed or guilty.
That starts another vicious cycle of thoughts – thoughts of self-blame and self degradation, which produce more discomfort – physical and mental.
So is anything good or healthy really accomplished by not telling the truth?
The only thing being dishonest and deceitful achieves is temporary comfort. Very temporary comfort. Realistically, what lying produces is more discomfort. It really has no solid, positive benefits to a person’s mind or body.
So is anything good or healthy really accomplished by not telling the truth?
The only thing being dishonest and deceitful achieves is temporary comfort. Very temporary comfort. Realistically, what lying produces is more discomfort. It really has no solid, positive benefits to a person’s mind or body.
© 2010 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved
