Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Stop & Think…

Are the majority of your thoughts helping you? Working for you?
Or are they working against you?
Are your thoughts secure and realistic?
Or are they fear-filled? Angry? Judgmental?

Always remember:
....Each of us has the
.......Freedom and the Ability consciously change our thoughts.

When your thoughts ARE working for you
....You WILL feel At Ease & In Control.

© 2010 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The M & M Team

There’s a wonderful story at the beginning of Joel Osteen’s book It’s Your Time. He tells about hiking in Colorado. The sign at the base of the mountain stated it should take about three hours to reach the summit.
After 45 minutes, Joel’s legs are burning, his chest pounding and he’s panting & sweating – a lot. He stops for air, has several I-don’t-know-if-I-can-make-it thoughts, and seriously questions whether he’ll be able to continue on another two hours.

All of a sudden he sees an a older man come around a curve headed down the trail. This gentleman appears cool and calm, not the least bit exhausted. As the man passes the younger sweaty pastor, he says: “You’re closer than you think.” Those five words rejuvenated Joel, and he caught his second wind.

It’s the next part of the story which really caught my attention. Joel states that with every stride he repeated the words: “I will make it”. Even though his body -- his muscles and lungs were quite uncomfortable, he kept walking & climbing, and talking to himself.

What did he do??? What method did he use??? We could call it cognitive-behavioral. He changed his thoughts and commanded his muscles. Over, and over, and over again.
Notice he used his one secure/realistic thought: “I will make it” -- with every stride -- with every step he took. Ten minutes later he reached the top. Total time: just under an hour.

No, this isn’t an example of someone suffering from panic or anxiety disorder. But, it is an illustration of how severe discomfort can be faced, and endured. It’s a demonstration of effort and the willingness to bear discomfort, and not deviating from a goal.
Joel started to talk himself (think himself) out of completing his goal. By changing his thoughts – consciously and continuously – he did what he set out to do.

Working as a Team - Mind & Muscles can and will carry us through.

© 2010 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Do you love… ?

While I was reading something loosely related to the topic other day, an interesting question came to my mind.
Here it is: Do you love and support yourself, Rose?
My quick and very honest answer: “Not as much as I should – but I’m starting now.”

When I thought about it further, I was not ‘consciously’ supporting myself the way I very often wholeheartedly support others. The recognition that I was not - didn’t click, it didn’t surface, until I asked myself the question.

A lot of us are natural, spontaneous givers. We support others without question, with no expectation or desire for anything in return. Mothers do it. Fathers do it. So do spouses, siblings, adult children and close friends.
Yet… yet, we often forget?? ignore?? overlook?? our own self-care.
Call it self-nurturing. Call it self-care. Call it self-support. Whatever. It has to do with feeling good, more specifically - making ourselves feel good. Because yes, we can’t and shouldn’t expect others to provide our feeling good.

Well, you’ve heard the question, and here’s my solution: several times a day I spontaneously say out loud,
“I love and support you Rose” or “Rose, I love and support you!”.

Yes, I add my name either at the beginning or end of the statement. I’ve mentioned before how I believe adding your name to a realistic, affirmative spoken thought adds meaning and depth. For me, it makes me pay closer attention. It makes the words a statement, instead of merely a fleeting thought. I guess in a sense I believe it more, accept it more.

So my questions to you are:

Do you love and support yourself? As much as you could be?
If not, I strongly suggest you make a firm decision to do something about it. Soon!

© 2010 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Why do people Lie?

Typically I don’t get into “Why” people do what they do. And, since three people in the last two weeks have asked me about it, I’ve decided to address the topic here.

My plain and simple answer is: People tell lies because to them, it’s more comfortable than telling the truth.
No matter what the subject, or who else is involved – the person who tells a lie chooses to – simply because it makes them feel better. They believe, they think, telling the truth would make them feel uncomfortable, more uncomfortable, too uncomfortable – and they choose to avoid being that uncomfortable.

Usually I stop the explanation right there, and since I’m writing now, I’ll add a few more thoughts…

I believe lying has the same effect on a person as a temper outburst, what is often referred to as a symbolic victory. That’s when we express our anger in a quick-tempered, maybe even loud and volatile way. That type of behavior may make us feel good ‘in the moment’, maybe even for a longer time.
BUT, sooner or later, we realize the ‘victory’ was no real victory at all – because we’re embarrassed or ashamed of our behavior – the words and more importantly, the manner those words flew out of our mouth.
That shame, composed of “I was wrong” thoughts, starts up another vicious cycle of thoughts – thoughts of self-blame and self-degradation, which produce more discomfort – physical and mental.
So is anything good or healthy really accomplished by a temper outburst?

To me, when a person tells a lie, they are not self-led. They are symptom led - led and influenced by fear, their own fear thoughts. And I believe that telling the lie may make a person feel better ‘in the moment’ but somewhere in the future, they’re going to know, realize, and wake up to the fact, that their behavior wasn’t their best – and they’re going to feel bad about it - embarrassed or ashamed or guilty.
That starts another vicious cycle of thoughts – thoughts of self-blame and self degradation, which produce more discomfort – physical and mental.
So is anything good or healthy really accomplished by not telling the truth?

The only thing being dishonest and deceitful achieves is temporary comfort. Very temporary comfort. Realistically, what lying produces is more discomfort. It really has no solid, positive benefits to a person’s mind or body.

© 2010 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved