Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Sometimes Shoulds are Good

What? Sometimes having the thought “I should ____ IS good.
Why? Because it motivate us to do the thing we fear, or care not to do! A before-the-action ‘should’ helps us take the ceiling off the amount of discomfort we are willing to bear.

We don’t raise the ceiling. We remove the ceiling.

For me it was the only authentic way of getting rid of my anxiety symptoms for good. The associated thoughts go something like this: “I don’t care how uncomfortable I am. I don’t care how uncomfortable I may get. I AM going to do this.”
Please do note: taking the limit off how much discomfort you are willing to handle/experience is not a one-time effort/decision. Anyone who has conquered anxiety has practiced. Repeatedly. They’ve gone out there time after time after time, not only knowing the ‘right’ thoughts, but also using those healthy, accurate, right thoughts.

Think about it: Before you do something, you really have no idea beforehand how uncomfortable you may get while you’re doing it.
Fact: Nervous symptoms grow and escalate when we attach fear and danger thoughts to them (when we think insecure thoughts).
Those same symptoms rise and fall and run their natural course when we use the secure/realistic/factual thoughts: “These are anxiety symptoms. Only anxiety. They are upsetting, distressing, difficult, disturbing, nerve-wracking, BUT they are not dangerous.”

Being group-minded, when we think of others instead of ourselves and how bad we feel, often prompts us to take action – action that we’d really rather not have to do.

It’s times when it’s easier to decide (think): “I’ll just stay home” or “I just won’t make the call” or “I’ll handle that tomorrow”.

Times when the internal dialog/thoughts go something like this: I’m not feeling all that good. We DO groceries. I don’t feel like going to the store. In fact, I’m having a lot of physical sensations just thinking about driving over there. I wonder how crowded it will be? I could ask my daughter to go, or to come with me, but she’s had a cold, and had another long day at work. I can tell she’s tired. I really should go on my own, so I will go by myself.
That SHOULD is a good should.

The “I don’t feel like going” is a thought; so is the “I will go myself”. The “I will go myself” is a thought, plus it’s a decision.

Think about it: When you have the self-leadership to go against the “I don’t want to” – you gain more self-respect. In a very real sense you’re standing up to your nervous fatigue, your wooziness, your light-headedness, and all other kinds of anxious feelings and you’re saying: “No! No! No! You can’t scare me anymore”.

Speaking in general, of the entire population of the planet:
If we all waited until we felt like doing something –
not a lot would get done in this world.

Granted, some people appear to love all the facets of their lives. It looks like they’re happy and spontaneous doing all they’re doing. And maybe they really are. The greater majority of individuals put forth effort to get things done day after day after day.

So, it IS average to have to push yourself into action -- sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. In that respect, You’re definitely not alone.

© 2011 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved