Thursday, November 5, 2009

Honesty = Self Leadership

While trying to hide their ‘condition’, people suffering from anxiety and/or depression often get into the habit of not quite telling the truth.

It’s part of covering-up-syndrome - why you ‘can’t’ do what other people do. It’s difficult to say: “I feel too panicky” or “I’m too depressed” to go to the movies, church, an outdoor concert, to the grocery store during the day when it’s crowded, to a ‘big’ store like Wal-Mart, etc. There are hundreds of places & events, and hundreds (maybe thousands) of excuses for avoidance behavior.

I remember my “I can’t” days – when I truly believed I “could not” do something. They were not at all pleasant. I remember ‘bending the truth’, and to be honest – I didn’t like lying. There, instead of dancing around with more gentle words, let me label it exactly what it was: lying. Lying to avoid feeling uncomfortable. BUT, sooner or later, we end up feeling uncomfortable anyway.

The fact is – we don’t feel good about ourselves when we lie – whether it’s a big lie or a “little white” lie. All of them add to the misery we’re already in. It adds to the vicious cycle of “There’s something terribly wrong with me.”

Once I learned that anxiety & depression, plus all the symptoms that go with those two disorders (and others as well), were ‘average’ and ‘fate appointed’ I felt better about myself. I wasn’t weird, different, or crazy. I had a condition. I had symptoms. And most important: I COULD GET WELL. There was a "cure”. Take away the shame and fear, and there was no need or reason to make up stories

Honesty and self-leadership include doing what you say you’re going to do. It means following through on commitments or appointments – or at least informing the other people involved that something’s come up, or you’ve changed your mind. It’s the group-minded thing to do. And, it’s certainly something to endorse for. Uncomfortable? Yes, sometimes. But, totally endorsable.

It’s so very refreshing now to be honest – both with myself and others. It’s another natural/automatic way to maintain good mental health & inner peace!

Best Regards,

© 2009 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved