Say it Like You MEAN it!
It does make a difference! A whole lot of difference.
I totally admit it. In the beginning, the tone of thought/voice when using what I call – verbal tranquilizers was ‘weak’. Maybe because I didn’t really believe what I was telling myself. Let’s cancel that ‘maybe’. I really didn’t believe those strong physical sensations that were a part of my panic, anxiety and the depressive thoughts were “distressing, but not dangerous”. I didn’t accept that they were scary, but that I was safe.
To be honest, I don’t recall how long it took before I began saying them with any force, any conviction. But when I did “say it like I meant it” it made a huge difference in my rate of progress.
To think that anxiety symptoms were dangerous – was a mistake. My mistake. I had to convince my brain that there was no danger. I had to convince my brain that I was coming up with the wrong answer/conclusion.
Here’s my analogy:
You’re teaching a 5-year old about addition: 4 + 5 = 9.
The child, for whatever reason, doesn’t ‘get it’, and his answer is 4 + 5 = 8.
You point out the ‘mistake’, and repeatedly repeat the correct answer – until the child accepts/memorizes the correct answer.
Another point: when you’re teaching a child, you are (or should be) outwardly patient. Patience lends itself to more successful outcomes. Impatience leads to frustration for both the child and the one doing the teaching.
When we’re learning and practicing a ‘new’ anything, in any field – it’s average to make mistakes. And it’s also true when we’re learning new ways of improving our mental health through healthy thinking. We make mistakes and go back to the old thinking, the old habit of thinking.
Lingering thoughts of impatience – “this is not working! I’m not feeling any better, it’s useless!” are simply mistakes in thinking, that can be corrected. With practice. Practice. Practice. Practice.
Impatient (fearful) thoughts slow progress. The antidote (secure thought) could be something such as: “NO! I AM making progress. I can’t really see or feel it, BUT I know every effort I make in changing my thoughts IS making a difference”.
It really is an accumulation of secure/realistic thoughts that make a cumulative, collective difference.” I assure you, one day that scale will tip in the right direction, as it did for me and thousands of others. You will accept and believe the healthy thoughts you’ve been telling yourself. The old, destructive habit pattern will be replaced.
So, back to ‘How’ you change your thoughts. I found that when I made my secure thoughts as strong as my insecure thoughts – it made a remarkable difference. With practice, the meek and weak, turned to assertive and strong.
Intense, firm, heavy-duty, forceful, powerful, determined – whatever adjective you want to use – my best recommendation is to:
Say it like you mean it!
© 2009 Rose VanSickle ~ All rights reserved